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Today we wore our orange shirts in an act of remembrance in solidarity in recognition in memoriam We saw the flag at half-mast and though it may have seemed performative it allowed our students to see our grief to ask about it We listened to a land acknowledgement "when the flag is down, it means someone has died" I cringed After the same old acknowledgement comes the anthem the anthem today it erases the acknowledgement it erases the truth it negates the actions of reconciliation it was the instrumental version of O Canada No one sang aloud today I was relieved I am certain that the students in that classroom that even slightly understood were relieved I considered not standing I felt scared, that going against what is expected of me after colonization, might put me in danger I wasn't in danger Now I sit safely in my home listening again watching young children in their jingle dresses watching their families feeling hope as I listen to a variety of Indigenous languages listen to songs grateful that I am begininning to know some of the words, recognize the songs, feel the drums reflect on teachings of friends, acquaintances, and Elders